the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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