Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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