is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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