I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
