I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
