i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
