half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
