mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
