i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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