I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
