went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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