There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
