I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Randomize
