Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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