i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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