In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
