Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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