where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
