you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
