i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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