then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
