hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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