i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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