I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
