Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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