So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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