i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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