we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
