Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
