there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
