Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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