everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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