Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
