there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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