TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
third nipple confirmed
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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