I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
