Don't you send me to vm
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
