yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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