At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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