i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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