He uses pillows to masturbate.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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