she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
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I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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