he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
