Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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