How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
