he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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