honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
