In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
