went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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