none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
