Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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