ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
