My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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