I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
