did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
