hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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