Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
