We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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