We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
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Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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