I accidentally burped into my bong.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
