I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
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you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
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Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize