I think I died a long time ago.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize