I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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