Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
