This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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