your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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