Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
